All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
