So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
