Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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