So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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