Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
