Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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