she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
whose ass print is on the piano?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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