also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
