It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
