Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
