We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
