He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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