I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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