i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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