Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
