your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
