Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The adults are the big ones right?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
