i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
