Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
