Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize