You made me cry and you don't even care
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
