I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
