I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize