i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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