I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
