I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
