I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I intend to get homeless drunk
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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