I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize