yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
