tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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