So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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