So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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