im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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