'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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