I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
