Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
