Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
