If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
