She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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