I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
