Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize