if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The feeling are messing with the penis
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
