I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
