So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
