tonight lets celebrate not being married
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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