I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
