Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
