I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Houston, we have a blender
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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