dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
