break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
oh god the rape fog is back!
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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