this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
