i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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