I feel like I'm in dance class right now
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
