Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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