It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
