Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You need a sexual gate keeper
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
