I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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