upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
