my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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